Royally Screwed Read online

  Shulmanu, late to the party, clearly had no idea why he’d been called and therefore, took the quiet in the room the wrong way. “I’m not going to display a fit of histrionics over my missing daughter if that’s what you’re waiting for. I have every faith you’ll find her. I just want to know how I can help.”

  Nergal and the other gods bowed at the waist to the once king, and Huxley belatedly copied the action.

  “It’s not Ereshkigal we need to talk about yet,” Nergal threw out. “What we do need to know is if any of your sexual peccadillo’s ever led you to Earth.”

  Shulmanu blustered for a moment, and Huxley, remaining partially hidden, marked that the old king stumbled for words.

  “The truth, Shulmanu.” Nergal’s tone sounded stern.

  “Why would you possibly want to know that?” The ex-king looked around the room, his eyes stopping and widening as he got to the twins. One very pregnant.

  “Oh my,” he squeaked, his throat working convulsively as he swallowed.

  “And that’s not all.” Nergal pointed in Huxley’s direction, and Hux moved out in the open to stand tall and confront Shulmanu.

  “Oh dear.” This was accompanied by a small shake of the old king’s head.

  Silence reigned in the room, but Huxley wasn’t going to make it easy by speaking up first.

  “Okay.” The old king cleared his throat. “There may have been one human whose existence I tried to ignore. But there remained something about her I couldn’t let go. The way she seemed a little more than mortal…” His voice trailed off, clearly on rocky ground. “We had a, uh, tryst.” His eyes traveled back and forth from the twins to Huxley. “But I never knew that I left her with child.” He straightened his shoulders. “These three, I imagine, are my grandchildren?”

  Marduk gave a curt, dip of his chin. “And your lover’s name?” Marduk’s voice barked hard, unyielding. Hux knew that even without the old king’s input, the gods would still get to the bottom of this.

  “Ah, yes.” Shulmanu extracted a handkerchief from his loincloth and mopped his suddenly soggy brow. “Her name was Maddy, uh, Madeline Kensilton. She lived in Vermont, oh, sometime in the decade of the 1930s. Our affair was very brief. My queen found out about Maddy and put her foot down rather vehemently.” He looked again at Huxley then at Tess and Holly. “I see now that I left the dear woman with a little more than just memories” His eyes fell and his remorse was palpable, even to Huxley who silently fumed.

  Marduk kept to business. “Lahar, Shamash, what is the name of the birth mother in the Abelard’s adoption records?” Hux and his sisters had only recently learned they had been adopted.

  Lahar answered right away, “Anna Kensilton.” He looked directly at Shulmanu. “From Vermont,” he stated unequivocally. “But Tess and Holly weren’t born until 1984 and Huxley in 1986. That would mean…” Huxley perceived that Lahar did some quick mental math. “That Maddy and Shulmanu’s daughter, Anna, would have to have been close to, or in her fifties when she had them. Pretty late in life for a human.”

  “Maybe that’s why she gave them up for adoption. Health issues? Social stigma?” Marduk speculated, looking at Shulmanu.

  “I don’t know. I didn’t even know she existed. My queen revoked my Earth privileges after I connected with Maddy. I never would have left her alone and pregnant had I known, and I certainly wouldn’t have ignored a daughter of mine or grandchildren.” His eyes softened, going to what he probably considered an unexpected boon. “You must believe me,” he implored, a certain hopefulness radiated toward Tess and Holly, the pair not nearly as stony faced as Hux. But Shulmanu still received no overtures from his descendants.

  “That’s neither here nor there at this point.” Nergal held a stiff posture, and he turned to Huxley with a huff. “If I know one thing about the king, despite his many lapses, he does not lie. And he dotes on the two daughters of whom he is aware.”

  Nergal looked back to Shulmanu. “So Ereshkigal and Ish Din, compliments of the king’s affair with Maddy, have a half-sister named Anna, who is out there, alone somewhere. And considering she has the bloodlines of two gods running through her, who knows how many immortal powers she has at her disposal?”

  “Two gods?” Shulmanu’s head came up.

  “Enlil was ancestor to your bed partner, Madeline, which may have been what drew you to her in the first place. You must have recognized her as not completely mortal,” Marduk chimed in again, and turned a wry smile to his wife and Holly. “Well, it looks like Dagon and I have married into royalty, albeit from the wrong side of the sheets.”

  “Oh my gods. And you’re about to bring a new prince into the world.” Dagon seemed astounded at the turn of events. The serpent god shook his head as if to dislodge doubts. “And damn. Royal bloodlines win out, no matter if it’s the queen’s children or not.”

  “Don’t think that I’m the only one with little princes coming, Dagon.” Marduk smirked, and Huxley took some comfort in that. “Your children will be royals as well.” The two gods blinked at each other in wonder. Hux looked over and saw that Tess and Holly remained dumb struck, but he didn’t hesitate to break the gods’ damned family reunion spell.

  Huxley glared at Shulmanu, dragged air into his chest, and straightened up to his full, intimidating height, speaking to the room imperiously, “And that’s the asshole who makes me a prince? Well, fuck it. I deny it. I want no part of a royal lineage that comes from him…” He turned on his heel, walking away, disgusted and unable to finish his sentence. He flung a parting shot back over his shoulder before he left the kitchen. “If you still want my help, King Nergal, I’ll be in my room. Please feel free to find me after our company has gone.”

  Huxley stalked out. Nergal told him later, via headlink, that Shulmanu had gone back to the Overworld to break the news to his wife and Ish Din.

  Chapter Two

  Doctor Dani Lee had already sneaked downstairs for coffee and then back up, avoiding the big meeting that had gone on. She currently inventoried her evolving clinic at the compound. From its humble beginnings as a room with a bed—and the instruments in her ever-ready bag—Dani now had a state-of-the-art medical setup with brand-new equipment, monitors, and even a blood bank to perform almost any surgical procedure her skills allowed.

  Granted, it was pretty easy working on gods and goddesses, thirteen males and four females who now lived at the compound. They healed so quickly that suturing, even internal organs and arteries, was oftentimes unnecessary. There had been moments where just holding two pieces of severed tissue together had been enough to bring about instant knitting.

  Her skills still got put to the test as the gods sustained injuries not often seen by humans. Those included injuries from osmium-laden bullets and knives, the only substance to which the gods were not impervious.

  She also had in her charge: Huxley, a human like herself, but one who fancied himself as tough as the immortals; an older woman cursed with early stage Alzheimer’s, Kate, mother of the newly made goddess Glory; two female witches who were mother and grandmother to Lenore, another goddess; and finally Wizarr the cat and Archie the dog.

  This represented a full house that would be growing even more populated. The goddess Tess and her husband Marduk—the unspoken leader of the Blue Hills pack—expected a baby godling in approximately ten weeks, which would add to the fun and pandemonium.

  Dani had only delivered C-section babies, so in the past few weeks she’d studied up on the procedures for a vaginal birth. She doubted there would be any trouble, but just in case, one of the witches, Angie, had skills in midwifery and would be of invaluable help.

  A knock on the door took the doctor out of her reveries to see the smiling face of Addie May—speaking of witches—the older of the two in residence, smiling in at her.

  “Sweetheart. Might I bother you for a few minutes?” The lovely, warm woman would never be suspected of practicing magic. Indeed, she looked more like a grandmother who could be sitting
at a large loom weaving a rug or a tapestry, skirts flowing around her, a smile on her face. Dani-Lee wished she could have experienced such a free-spirited female while being brought up, instead of enduring the cold, sterile male environment she called home.

  “Come in, Addie May,” Dani welcomed. “Take a seat. Do you have a medical issue?”

  “No, sweetheart, nothing medical. Just magical.” The witch dipped her head as if in apology that she didn’t bleed from some wound.

  “Pardon?” Dani queried, amused. She’d noted a few things the witches had done, and even experienced a hot fudge sundae or two appear out of thin air. But as much as secrets flew throughout the compound, she’d never been directly confronted with the witches’ greater powers.

  Addie sighed. “I’m sure, by this time, you’ve heard that Huxley will be the one to try to locate the queen.”

  Dani Lee understood this. She just didn’t like it. At all. So many meetings occurred lately to which she wasn’t invited, but even so, certain information had been made public to all the residents. Most of it involved the missing Ereshkigal, the rogue goddess named Beletseri, and the fact that only a human would be able to get close to a hideout because gods put out a certain energy signature that could be easily located by other immortals. Huxley had volunteered, being human.

  “Right. I heard that.” She pursed her lips, keeping from adding an opinion.

  “Well, there’s no easy way for me to say this, my dear, so I’ll jump right in. You have to go with him.”

  Dani must have heard the older woman incorrectly. “Excuse me?”

  “You have to accompany him,” Addie May continued. “I don’t see that his travels will take him far afield, but each and every time he leaves the compound, you must be glued to his side.”

  Doctor Dani shook her head incredulously. “Oh no. Not me. You’ve got the wrong person. Huxley doesn’t even like me. He avoids me at all costs.” And had done so ever since they’d had words in her room.

  Before that, the lovely and hard-to-ignore Huxley had kissed her once briefly while lingerie shopping, which remained an ultra-hot memory she rekindled frequently. Then they’d shared a cottage for one night in Northampton. She would never forget the things that almost happened there, even if Huxley had wiped his mind of what they’d nearly done.

  Dani frowned. Huxley had quickly backpedaled after both encounters. He’d used the whole “you’re too good and too smart for me” line to move away from any expectations she might have begun nurturing.

  He’d barely spoken to her since Northampton, and she remained confused.

  She’d fumed silently for weeks and finally, tired of being treated like a nonperson, had quietly confronted him in the upstairs hallway one night after a few too many glasses of wine with the ladies. She’d demanded to know if he planned on shunning her forever. She hadn’t asked for a relationship, she hadn’t asked for his skilled mouth and hands again, she’d only asked if they could end the uncomfortable silences between them.

  Hux had immediately dragged her into her room and taken on a defensive posture. Raising his voice, he’d told Dani in no uncertain terms that he wasn’t physically attracted to her, that he’d only seek her out in the future for medical emergencies, and to please leave him the fuck alone. He couldn’t have been more direct, and it had really hurt.

  Grappling with the thrust of his well-placed words, she had wrapped what little pride she had left around herself and swiftly shown him the door. They hadn’t spoken since.

  So hearing Addie May tell her she needed to accompany Huxley on all of his trips from the compound remained ludicrous and 100 percent out of the question.

  “Addie, you don’t understand. For some reason, Huxley hates me. I don’t know what I’ve done to him, but he’s made it perfectly clear I’m the last person on Earth he wants to talk to, let alone have tagging along.”

  “Be that as it may,” Addie stated. “My scrying bowl indicates that if you are not with him, he’ll likely not succeed in his quest.”

  Oh dear. Dani-Lee was screwed. She didn’t necessarily believe what the witch told her, but everyone else in the house put a lot of weight behind Addie’s predictions. Dammit. She’d already humiliated herself once by confronting Huxley and getting totally torn apart; now she needed to tell him she was his new partner. Hardly.

  “I’m sorry, Addie May, but I can’t do it.” She squared her shoulders with resolve. “He won’t believe me, and he won’t want me.” Dani couldn’t tamp down the small amount of hurt that accompanied her words.

  The witch shook her head. “Not acceptable, Dani-Lee. You have to find a way to change his mind. The bowl is murky, but as well as not accomplishing the rescue he’s attempting to undertake, without you I believe his life is also at risk.”

  “What?” The rescue of the queen, Dani could rationalize, figuring that between all the big, badass gods they’d find a way to save Ereshkigal, but now the witch informed her that Huxley might die.

  “Yes, my dear. I’m afraid it’s quite clear that you will be the only one capable of saving his life sometime in the near future.”

  Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Dani-Lee wanted to scream.

  Addie wagged a finger. “And you’ll need to speak with him soon. The king will have information as early as tomorrow morning, and Huxley will be off.”

  Dani bit her lip hard. The big jerk probably sat in the kitchen with his twin sisters and the other two goddesses as well as the other gods—visible and invisible—hanging around after the meeting. Fine. The audience became the determining factor. Dani made up her mind. If she made a fool of herself, well, so be it, but she’d make sure Huxley looked like an ass too.

  “Don’t expect this to work,” she snapped at the witch, instantly feeling bad she transmitted her mood to the older woman. She tried to soften her parting remark. “I’ll give it a try, but you can’t blame me if he won’t listen.” Dani dragged her reluctant body from the room and headed down the stairs.

  Just as she expected, the kitchen was full. It might be more full than she realized but being human, she was incapable of seeing the incorporeal gods. She looked around.

  Marduk fed Tess dried cranberries he picked out of a box of granola. Holly, with her husband Dagon, avidly observed someone Dani couldn’t see cooking at the stove. She knew this because a spatula, a pan, and some kind of a sausage concoction appeared and disappeared in the way that the invisibles “acquired” and “unacquired” physical items to interact with them. If she hadn’t seen it before, she’d be hard pressed to turn away.

  Lenore, the feistiest goddess, sat on her husband Anshar. And if Dani wasn’t mistaken, she had one hand down between them, fondling his, uh, lap. Lenore’s hard nipples clearly showed through her tight pink cami, and the doctor figured the couple would not be long for the kitchen.

  Huxley leaned back against the counter, wearing only loose cotton pajama bottoms that rode low on his hips―causing Dani’s breath to hitch. He was deep in conversation with Enlil, god of wind. Clearly the discussion had been heated and stopped abruptly when Dani caught Hux’s eye.

  The chill that filled the air had nothing to do with their disagreement, however. The cold came from Enten, the god of winter, as he and his new Chosen, Glory, passed through the slider at one end of the kitchen, laughing and making eyes at each other. Ooo-kay. That must have been the reason for the early morning frost.

  The only “visibles” not in attendance were Lahar the logical, the two witches, and Glory’s mother Kate. Archie was busy licking residual egg off a plate on the floor. Wizarr cleaned himself on a counter, shedding black hair into what Dani hoped wasn’t the only butter dish.

  “Hey, Dani.” Tess’s face lit up. Dani knew it puzzled and troubled the goddess as to why she avoided Hux, and Tess therefore seemed thrilled that Dani braved the kitchen. Grinning, she charged in. “Absu. Breakfast for one more.”

  Dani bit her lip, procrastinating while King Nergal entered, refilled a coffee, and fou
nd a chair at one end of the long trestle table. She briefly pondered how much easier it would be to sit down next to Tess, explain the situation quietly to Marduk, and let him handle Huxley. But she’d been taught early on in life that prevarication and procrastination were deadly sins. Direct confrontation was—while not usually painless—the only accepted way to approach a problem.

  She lowered herself into a chair next to Enlil, one of the scariest gods, but also—at least to her—one of the nicest, and leaned into him for courage. Had she imagined that Huxley’s posture stiffened in response? Before she could begin, Enlil reached down and tugged at her long, red, wavy locks.

  “Good morning, doc.” He dropped a brotherly kiss on the end of her nose, and this time she was sure Huxley growled.

  ****

  Gods dammit. Huxley knew when he was being played, and Enlil did it with panache. The wind god purposely goaded Hux with his actions, which at the moment had Dani’s pretty, gold-flecked eyes smiling up at the god. Huxley saw red.

  His lip curled. Enlil had somehow guessed at Huxley’s interest in Dr. Dani, and the immortal couldn’t help but taunt. The wind god once totally wished his amulet had lit for Dani, making the doctor his mate and Chosen for all eternity, but it hadn’t happened. So now he chose to make Huxley’s life a living hell, and Hux didn’t have the option of onboard lighting. For all that he’d been declared a fucking prince, he didn’t sport the interior shoulder hardware that would allow him to claim Dani, no questions asked.

  Yup. Each god had an amulet embedded in their left shoulder, holding their life essence. Without it, they would die. The amulet also recognized a god’s eternal mate, and at some point during meeting, talking to or fucking a woman, the amulet would give off heat and an unmistakable crimson glow.

  Huxley had beheld Enlil at work with Dani, the wind god trying to will the change in his shoulder, only to have it remain unlit. Without that signal and the sharing of the amulet in a ceremony, a god could not take a Chosen. If he tried to mistakenly, he would die.